When Gratitude Shows itself in a Note... When Gratitude Shows itself in a Note…diann catlin In 1987 my father died. There really are no words to describe how I loved him, or what he modeled in my life. He was humble in all ways, but held a powerful and influential position in life. He was rather quiet as a father, not a great outgoing conversationalist, but when he spoke you spent the day replaying his verbiage of kindness and purpose: those rules he not only spoke but lived by. “Never offend someone, always speak nice and kind words about others, never let someone offend you. Work hard and that means rise early, stay late and keep thinking to solve the problems even if it takes all night. Be a person of integrity and always respect others.” So when he died the quiet but giant role model had to be mourned, and mourned. Twenty four years later parts of me lean into him still for more of himself. What I remember most about those early days of mourning was one friend’s gift of food and presence. Don’t get me wrong, there were so many wonderful expressions of love: notes and food, flowers and visits. But one friend Katy walked in with a homemade lasagna, dripping everywhere with its opulence. We were a family of four, as in three-eat-everything- in- sight boys (my husband counts as one of those boys of course) and myself, the mom who had just lost her hero Daddy. The lasagna overflowed when it came in the door and overflowed when it cooked and quite honestly every time I think of a gift or thanks, I see that lasagna: poured out and overflowing in thick ingredients of sincere love. A thank you note, or a condolence note is also like that lasagna. It can be only one layer of skimpy ingredients, or it can be layer after layer of a poured out meaty and juice filled feast. I received such a feast today. Last week I had the great pleasure of teaching 120 ladies: Alpha Chi Omegas at UNF. We gathered to learn about Business and Dining Etiquette and they were lovely and sophisticated and seemed to drink in every word of instruction to help them find careers in this toughest of economies. I left with a smile, but today half a week later I received lasagna overflowing in the form of a fat manila envelope filled with beautiful handwritten thank you notes! The notes were Manna from Heaven! Please know I had already been paid handsomely for my work, but no monetary amount could match the love and sincerity in those notes. I will read them again on those down days we all have, but my mind’s eye has placed them right alongside Katy’s lasagna. I think of my own expressions toward others. Do I give to exhaustion a gift that costs me in energy and time? Or do I give a token gift? Do I thank, selecting all my words carefully or do I simply jot out a few sentences, sign my name and cross the note off of my to- do list? How about you? When is the last time you put your gratitude in
writing or your friendship and compassion in a gift which must spill out
because it is so rich and full that it dare not stay within its
boundaries? If you did not write the note or take the gift, it is not too
late. No it is never too late to show kindness and gratitude, condolence
and sincerity, but remember to take the time and thought to make your own
expression both uplifting and memorable. Your note, your gift can and does
change another’s life for the good! For the greater good indeed!
Character, Reputation and
Integrity
“Come over!” is a phrase which makes some tremble, but it shouldn’t. It’s not the size of your house, it’s the welcome in your heart that makes the occasion fun. It’s not even the limited budget! With a little creativity, you can have folks in for a small amount of money and a small amount of preparation. Step I…Select the
date and the guest list: Step II …Invite by phone or written invitation: Phoning is the quickest way to get a proper count of your guests, and is fine for a casual event. “Regrets only” at the end of the written invitation suggests that your guests will call if they cannot attend. “R.s.v.p” means they will respond whether or not they can or cannot attend. If you do not hear back from your guests promptly, call and make sure they received your invitation. Always use great tone which says “we really would love for you to be with us!” Step III…Plan the menu: Great recipes for an easy heavy appetizer event follow, but whatever you plan, keep it simple, delicious and able to be prepared in advance. Always think about varieties of food colors (not all beige food selections) and varieties of tastes. Also consider that some folks don’t eat beef, seafood or sweets. Step IV…Prepare your home: Clean does not mean repaint every wall. It does mean the bathrooms and common areas are vacuumed and spotless. It also means clutter is kept to a minimum. Add seasonal potted plants to your front door and wipe the door down. Glance with a discerning eye for tired house plants and dust balls or dog hair. Keep in mind some guests may move furniture to get closer to another guest, so whatever is under that moveable chair may be open for observation. Step V…Prepare your table: Food and drink presentation set the tone of your party. Make sure there is both an ample supply and an ample access. Cups, ice, beverage choices, and napkins can go in one area. Food can go in another so there will be no bottle neck as your guests serve themselves. You don’t have to have an expensive table cloth, simply throw a quilt or colorful piece of fabric at an angle, and then make an easy centerpiece in a unique household item. Backyard greenery makes a great arrangement at no cost. For a little color, add a few grocery store flowers if you like. Have the flowers pick up or blend with a color in the cloth. Big arrangements on a large table make a great statement. Groupings of small arrangements also work well. Step VI…Prepare your menu: Do as much ahead of time as possible. Your guests want to visit with you and the other guests not spend the whole evening in your kitchen. Baskets of crackers and other accoutrements may need to be replenished, so keep your eye on the table. Step VII…Greeting, welcome, and the end of the night: Remember that your heart is the most important ingredient in your party, so welcome guests with enthusiasm. Introduce those who do not know each other, and when the evening is over, thank your guests for coming. It is best to do minimal clean up in front of your guests. But when the night is over and your major clean up begins, reflect on the great conversations you had and the joy of having people in!
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